You need an attorney, in situations like yours, the person with the best attorney wins. You will have to make sacrifices to pay an attorney, but what is your child worth to you?
Immediately call the local women's shelter and ask to speak with a counselor. The counselor should have a list of attorneys who do free work, or will work with you on payments, and should be able to assist you.
The information you want, must be obtained by court order in response to a "Discovery" request filed by your attorney.
Your attorney will find out who your ex's attorney is the same way you will find out. It will be on the court papers you are served with. Nothing requires anyone to tell the name of the opposing parties attorney.
You may report it to both the California Employment Development Department and the Internal Revenue Service for state and federal payroll tax fraud/evasion.
California Employment Development Department
3321 Power Inn Road, Suite 140
Sacramento, CA 95826
more information at https://eapply4ui.edd.ca.gov/eddcomm/frm...
For the IRS:
Internal Revenue Service
Fresno, CA 93888
more information at http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0...