A DA is the prosecutor. He is an elected official and the chief law enforcement officer for your borough or county.
There are hundreds of assistants da's (called ADA). An assistant DA assigned to the court room you are going to will be handling your case.
When they first call the case you stand up and come forward. When they see you are there they pass the case for later. In the in between time of of the many ada's assigned to the court room will talk with you. You can tell them all about how you want to drop the case and they will tell you if they are going to prosecute even if you refuse to cooperate.
So that is the time to talk and that is the time that decisions on the case are made.
having PMDD is not the same as being nuts and on drugs. He is an abuser, make all the excuses you want for him, like your parents do, but you eventually will end up in a hospital or morgue. He has picked you, his sister, to take his uncontrollable age out on. Sounds harsh but I worked way to many cases like yours
Since this in NYC chances are you are going to a special domestic violence court. These ada's handle this kind of stuff hundreds of times a day.
The court facility will likely also have a separate social service unit to assist you with any OPs or other domestic problems you might have.
You don't have to show up for the first hearing. That is an arraignment hearing. The DA's office will notify you, likely via subpoena, when you ado have to show up.
If you want to show at the arraignment and find out if they will drop (I hope they don't) you can.
Wear something that looks professional, sophisticated but unique and don't look boring. At law firms they don't just want you for your brains. You have to have a very unique personality and main thing is ACT CONFIDENT.